The Witch Nichang– Chapter 92
Seek
That night, Lian’er didn’t sleep so well. She, who usually fell asleep as soon as she hit the pillow, was tossing and turning.
Of course, being aware of that meant that I wasn’t sleeping too well either.
Unable to sleep, I wanted to get up, put on my coat, and take a walk outside as I usually did, but considering that Lian’er was also having trouble sleeping, it was better not to make any more noise to disturb her, so I held myself back from doing that and lay quietly in bed, patiently waiting for Zhougong[1] to come.
I heard her turn again in the dark, betraying a slight restlessness even in her sleep.
Nothing really bothered Lian’er. Her being like this almost certainly had something to do with our conversation earlier. Was I… asking too much of her?
I couldn’t stop myself from reflecting on this, questioning myself.
Even since we started our journey to the west, her words and actions these days have made my hope grow so fast that it is almost on the verge of losing control.
The possessiveness, the affection, all these fill me with anticipation. I even wonder sometimes if I could be more proactive and bold, I might have already gotten what I have longed for.
If that were the case, why would I have to be hard on her and torment myself as I do now?
But I know I can’t do that, no.
Because I know my place in Lian’er’s heart, I know that if I were to confess my feelings to her directly, she would probably reciprocate it and when that happens, our relationship would enter a whole new phase, a relationship that I long for, yet I would be stuck in another kind of worry. I wouldn’t be able to know if she has the same feelings as I do, or if it is just some vague, muddled affection that is misled.
Is that precious love given to me from the heart? Would she, a free-spirited person, someday taste true love from someone else? Every time I think of this possibility, it fills me with dread. So no matter how much I want it, I can’t do that.
All I can do is sow the seed and give my all to nurture it, hoping that I could reap the fruit that I dream of in the end. But I can’t do the sprouting and growing for her, and whatever fruit it would bear lies in her hands.
All things considered, what I seek is just to have no regrets. Even if it means being hard on her now.
With my eyes closed, I lost track of time. When sleep finally came, all kinds of thoughts were still running through my mind like a reel of film. And before drifting off… the last thing I thought in a haze was that I had to take care of my own issue…
Although it makes me happy that Lian’er seems to care, it is also… dangerous…
Starting tomorrow… starting tomorrow…
Those thoughts I had before falling asleep were imprinted in my mind, so the next day onwards, I made it a point to distance myself from a certain person. The gatherings of song and dance in the courtyard outside the west window every afternoon were as lively as always, but I never opened the window again to watch.
The young guide still came to visit me regularly with the excuse of bringing me fruits and nuts. As he meant no harm, it wasn’t appropriate to turn him down, and I also owed him once. So I still treated him the same when we chatted, just with more formality.
Sometimes formality meant distance.
I had considered using this young man’s affection to my benefit. Perhaps it could spur… But I decided against it on second thought. Why involve an innocent third person between us? While Lian’er’s concern was reassuring, it would be too grave of a sin if things went too far and cost the young man’s life. Unfortunately, even though I was looking out for him, he seemed oblivious to the danger he was in.
When the young man seemed to sense my rejection, he became more frequent with his visits. It was hard to deal with his persistence and enthusiasm.
Things would have been easier if only he was straightforward about his feelings, but he only showed care and concern every time he visited me. It left me puzzled at times, wondering if both Lian’er and I had gotten it wrong?
Be it confusion or a sticky situation to handle, seeing Lian’er always wore her displeasure on her face, I felt I couldn’t ignore it any longer. If he didn’t make his feelings clear, then I would do it for him. Even if it turned out to be a misunderstanding, just let me flatter myself once. That would soothe a sore, though it wasn’t mine but Lian’er’s.
I rehearsed what I was going to say a few times and thought of every scenario. I felt ready. The next day, I sat in my room and waited for him to show up. Ever since I stopped watching the gatherings in the courtyard, he seemed to have stopped joining. Instead, he visited me every afternoon at the same time, a time when Lian’er and Old Tie weren’t around. Maybe he found this time convenient, and of course, it was also a convenient time to talk things out.
The sun was setting. As I was waiting, I heard pattering footsteps coming from outside. These footsteps were familiar to me. I was so focused on what to do next that I didn’t notice right away the urgency in the footsteps that differed from the usual. When he barged in without greeting, I knew something was wrong.
The door had no lock, but he was usually respectful. Even if the door was slightly ajar, he would knock first and wait for permission before coming in coyly. He wouldn’t be so impertinent. And the usual smiling face that appeared from behind the door was now covered with sweat and panic, making things seem serious.
“What’s wrong?” I stood up, immediately putting what I had been ready to say behind.
“Miss… Miss.. huff huff… you need to leave!” He was panting, as if he had rushed here. Trying to talk in between breaths, he grabbed my arm and exclaimed, “You need to go, trou…huff…trouble’s coming!”
Even though he appeared panicked, I wasn’t affected by it. When you saw the other person was panicking, it calmed you down instead. I took a small step back to slip my hand out of his. Then I went to the table to pour a bowl of tea and said, “Easy, take a breath. What exactly happened?”
“No, no, there’s no time!” The guy took the tea bowl but didn’t drink it, plunking it down on the table beside him. Almost stomping his foot, he said anxiously, “You have to leave now. I don’t know what your friends have been up to these days. They’ve attracted a gang of bandits. They’ve learned about this place and now they’re at the foothills. I asked my friend to hold them off, but he can’t hold them off for long. They’ll be here soon. It’s too dangerous for you to stay here alone. There’s no time to waste!”
As he spoke, I could already hear the commotion coming from outside. It wasn’t the cheerful noises of the Uyghur, but a more malicious clamor that you knew they didn’t come in peace.
I nodded and said, “Oh.” It didn’t surprise me. Because it wasn’t something too surprising.
The risk had always been there. If we were going to search for these bandits, there was no promise they wouldn’t do the same to us. Obviously, the locals had more ways to get information than outsiders. Although Lian’er and Old Tie had been going out early and coming back late, trying to stay as low as possible and the innkeeper was also a friend of a friend, no secrets could be kept forever.
I wasn’t worried since Old Tie and Lian’er were together. The ones to suffer would definitely be the other party. Even a three-year-old could figure out what they would do next when they learned about their enemies’ base after they lost, especially knowing that one of their people was indisposed.
Even though I hadn’t discussed it with anyone, I was ready for this in the first two days after waking up. And I had since decided what to do when it came to this.
“By the way, how many people are out there this time?” With my mind made, I asked as I walked to the bedside, rummaging calmly for something. This might seem misleading to the young guide for he beseeched, “Don’t bother packing your stuff at a time like this! About five notorious bandits around this region are here. They’re strong! Even the authorities can’t do anything with them! Miss, you must leave with me quickly, or it’ll be too late!”
He was taking a huge risk to come to me. I gave him a smile as a token of gratitude but continued with what I was doing. After gathering my belongings, I returned to the table and sat down, placing my short sword beside my sword hand. Then, I carefully wrapped a red silk around my hands and secured my sleeves, preparing my wrist guards.
“Miss—miss, you…” Seeing what I was doing, the young man seemed to realize what I was going to do, looking tongue-tied and unsure.
The clamor outside was getting closer.
Suddenly, I felt that this was actually a good time. The thought brought a smile to my face. Without stopping what I was doing, I spoke, “Hey, actually, do you have a crush on me?”
It wasn’t how I planned to bring it up. I had intended to be more subtle and considerate of his feelings, certainly not as blunt as this. It seemed like Lian’er had rubbed off on me seeing that I got right to the point the first thing that came out of my mouth. Thinking this way somehow cleared my conscience.
“Uh? Well, I, I…” The poor guy was taken aback, but he seemed to be stronger than he looked. Despite the suddenness of the question and the tense situation, he just stuttered for a moment before he nodded and answered resolutely, “Yes, yes, I really like you, beautiful lady!”
The “beautiful” made me chuckle while I sighed to myself, thinking how fortunate he was. As a man, regardless of the outcome, at least he could openly express his affection for someone he likes without much worry.
Despite the lamentation, I asked casually, “Why do you like me? If we talk about appearance, the young woman I’m with deserves that more, no?” It was something that perplexed me.
“It’s, it’s different. You sing well, very well. You’re gentle with kids, kind-hearted. You’re very brave when you chased after the water in the desert. I… it’s not just about your appearance…” He stuttered, seemingly trying hard to describe an image of a beautiful person in his mind. Unfortunately, the image was too good. It didn’t sound like me.
Meanwhile, the clamor filled with menace and rage was already at the door.
There was no time for more. I sighed as I stood up, holding the short sword in my hand and straightening up my clothes. Before I went, I changed the subject and said, “You still have time. Escape through the window. What happens next has nothing to do with you.”
“No!” Perhaps he was a courageous person, or maybe it was the boost of courage after his confession. The young man stood tall and exclaimed, “I, I’ll protect you!” As soon as he said that, the door was kicked open with a loud bang.
Ignoring the menacing bandits by the door, I turned to him and asked, “You said you like my personality?” After seeing him nod, nervous and confused, I said with a smile, “Well, that’s too bad. The woman that you see here isn’t what you think she is. Like now, do you know why she’s not leaving?”
Our enemies were coming this way, brandishing their weapons. It was obvious the young man couldn’t continue the conversion in a situation like this, so I told him straightaway, “Because she wants to prove herself with their blood!”
With that, I kicked the table, drew my sword, and as the group of bandits was separated by the table, I leaped forward.
Hiding before they reach this place might be a viable option, but it wasn’t what I sought. I was a companion of Lian Nichang, and a person who sought to flee when faced with danger had no right to stand by her side. I needed her trust, and to earn it, I had to prove myself, to prove that I wasn’t a burden but someone of use.
There were four people, two wielding swords, one with a hammer, and the last one bareknuckle. The bareknuckle one seemed to be stronger than the others. Old Tie had shown us some of Jin Duyi’s martial moves that he knew on the way, so I could see that he was Jin Duyi’s direct disciple, which meant Lian’er had stumbled upon the right path, and they got desperate.
The room was too small. It was hard to move around. I was outnumbered by four to one, and my body that hadn’t fully recovered still felt a little weak. So I need to end this quickly!
With that goal in mind, I focused my attacks on one of them while mostly evading the other three. You couldn’t go wrong with taking them down one by one. In just a short while, the two swordsmen had taken some hits on their arms and became so bloody that it was difficult for them to wield the swords. This time, I went in full force. They were big time bandits. There was no reason to hold back.
The two swordsmen were no longer a threat, and the hammer wielder was slow, posing no great danger. There was only one left, also the strongest among the four.
I didn’t have much experience fighting with a bare knuckle opponent. The Dali Jingang on Yunu Peak left a strong impression on me, but this man was different from him, one was forceful, the other was elusive, dripping with dank cold. I studied his moves and looked for openings. We had exchanged over ten moves, but I still struggled to find an opening for a fatal blow.
Since my body hadn’t fully recovered, gradually, I began to feel a little breathless. Panic surged in me. I had to win this fight. I couldn’t afford any mistakes. With more force, I pressed forward, aiming my sword at his vitals. He grew flustered, his moves becoming erratic. In the heat of the fight, I saw an opening. With a swift strike, I went straight at a vital point on his shoulder.
If this strike landed, I would have defeated him. However, in the heat of the moment, he evaded hastily, and my strike missed its mark. The sensation of metal piercing flesh transmitted through the sword to my hand, and crimson flowers blossomed before my eyes.
Panting, I watched as he limped to the ground. A stream of liquid gushed from his neck, winding into a red rivulet on the ground. My heart was pounding, yet not as quick as I had imagined. Sheathing my sword, I cast a slow glance at the remaining three, only to see their figures fleeing in haste.
It was the laws of nature in troubled times. I was just fitting in.
From then on, I was like her.
“Hmph, those bastards run faster than rabbits when they flee.”
A hand rested on my shoulder, a familiar voice chuckling behind me, tinged with discontent and mockery. It was only then I realized the real reason they had fled in panic.
Turning around, I smiled at her and said, “See, I can handle it myself.”
“Mm.” The young woman nodded, holding the bag that I had packed on the bedside table earlier. She shook it and said with a smile, “Let’s go, there’s no need to stay here anymore. We’ve taken out their old lair.”
As she said that, it seemed like she was going to wrap her arm on my waist, but after a moment’s thought, she held my hand instead. The moment she held my hand, I heard her whisper, “I think I’ve understood something. I’ll tell you later.”
Startled, before I could think about it, she took me through the door. Looking at her back, I told myself not to think too much into it. I might get a laughable answer again, but my heart couldn’t help but soar with joy.
Or it might be because we were locking our hands now.
[1] A regent of the early Zhou Dynasty, culturally also known as the God of dreams.
Ah, now our MC looks really cool!
We simply have no choice but to stan.