Lost and Found- Chapter 3 Home

Lost and Found– Chapter 3

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The five-day hospital stay had ended. I had scheduled a follow-up appointment with the doctor. It was still Zhanghua who came to pick me up from the hospital. She insisted that I call her that, saying that calling her Miss Xie or Xie Zhanghua felt too distant. 

According to her, she and I were in a relationship, and we were currently living together. Perhaps my reaction had been pretty calm before, when I asked her about our relationship, except for the pause before she spoke, her tone was gentle, as if she was describing something ordinary, but inside I was in turmoil, as shocked as when I first learned I had lost my memory. I couldn’t deny that I hadn’t been attracted to any man as far as I could remember, but that didn’t mean that I was ready to fall in love with a woman. Now I was suddenly being told that I had fallen for one and was living with her, that it estranged my family from me, and on top of it all, I had mysteriously lost my memory—Could this get any more cliche?

I didn’t think Zhanghua was lying to me. It wasn’t some subconscious feeling of familiarity that led me to that conclusion. I really had no memory of her, and her whole demeanor gave off this sense of candor. She wasn’t a talkative person; that’s why when she spoke, her words were taken seriously. 

I had the feeling of not knowing how to face her. She was a stranger who was once the closest person to me, but still, a stranger. 

As I had come to realize over the past few days, Zhanghua wasn’t much of a talker, but if I asked her to explain something, she would do it meticulously, without the slightest sign of irritation. On our way back from the hospital to what she called “our home,” she told me briefly about how we met when I asked her. She explained that she first got to know me two years after I officially started working in the company. At that time, she had just been transferred from Tianye Group, the parent company of Saiye Technologies, to serve as the general manager, intending to resolve the power struggle that was causing the company’s stagnation. She needed someone who understood the company but wasn’t deeply involved in any of the factions to be her assistant. Then she discovered me, who was working in HR at that time, and promoted me to be her executive assistant. 

Somehow accepting reality, I asked, “So I basically rose from obscurity by rubbing elbows with the right person?” 

She nodded. “As far as I know, that’s what a lot of people said, especially those from your old department.”

Half-jokingly, I replied, “No wonder the looks I got when I walked into HR the other day stressed me out. It made me feel like fainting and running away. Turns out there’s a reason.”

Zhanghua gave me a wry smile.

I asked again, “So what’s the story behind this ‘DM Qiu’ title?”

“DM of Marketing, promoted two years ago,” answered Zhanghua.

Perplexed, I asked, “How come it’s not DM of HR?”

Zhanghua’s answer was straightforward, “If your subordinates used to be your bosses, you wouldn’t be able to manage them.”

A deputy manager at 27? Although Zhanghua didn’t strike me as someone who played favorites, I still couldn’t picture myself as some high-flying, confident deputy manager of marketing. Could it be that I lost my memory because of too much stress at work?

I voiced my doubt right away, and Zhanghua replied, “You underestimate yourself.”

Looking at her side profile, I felt that there was something more to her expression as she spoke. I wanted to ask how we ended up together, but I thought better of it. Since I had no intention of having an intimate relationship with her, why bring up the topic and make things complicated? Honestly, I felt that playing dead on this matter was the best approach for both of us at the moment.  

“Our home” was a luxurious apartment located in an upscale residential area. It was spacious just for the two of us, with four rooms—one master bedroom, two guest rooms, a study—and two living areas, decorated in a minimalist European style in shades of black, brown, and white. There were a lot of personal items in the living space, tastefully arranged. Overall, the space felt lived-in.

Perhaps Dr. Liu had mentally prepared her over the past five days. Zhanghua seemed to have come to terms with my condition and treated me like a first-time visitor. She showed me around the house, explaining where things were and how to use them, eventually settling me into the guest room adjacent to the master bedroom. 

After moving some of what she claimed were my personal belongings into the room, she ordered takeout, and we shared dinner. Later, we watched a bit of television together. Throughout that time, we tacitly stuck to talking about current events, steering clear of anything personal.

After we had both retired to our separate rooms for the night, I lay in bed with my eyes closed, letting out a long breath. During our time together that evening, Zhanghua seemed to have held back on her words many times and sometimes deliberately changed the subject, obviously holding back from saying anything that might make us both uncomfortable. I could sense her weariness, but so was I. Aside from a few familiar objects and some furniture and things that suited my taste, everything in this expensive house, including the woman herself, felt alien to me.

You just need time to get used to it, I told myself. 

Yes, the doctor had said that there was still a chance my memory might return, and even if they didn’t, the unfamiliar would become familiar with time. That would be true for the house and the same for Zhanghua… except for the love part. After I found out we had once been a couple, I had tried to imagine what it was like to be with her, what a hug or a kiss might feel like, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t.

Time. Time can fix everything. You have to be patient, don’t panic, don’t be afraid. Everything will be alright. Like a mantra, I repeated this to myself until I fell asleep.

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