The Witch Nichang– Chapter 22

A Thud

“I can’t sleep tonight. My mind drifted back to the past again. I left without saying goodbye that time; it’s more of an act of spite. Every time I wake up from my dream, I miss you dearly. I regret it, but I am like an arrow that has left the bow—there’s no turning back. A twenty-year promise is beyond the horizon. Today, I’m cutting my fingertip and writing this for later reunion. If fate let us meet again, that proves our love as husband and wife is true.”

Standing in the stone chamber, I was reading the dark red text on the scroll by the dim oil lamp. Most texts were much like this paragraph, no beginning nor an end. The days were written at intervals. The longest gap between entries was more than a year. Instead of saying it was a diary, it would be more apt to call it Master’s notebook for her feelings. 

Even though it was so fragmentary, reading up to here, I gradually figured out some outlines of the recorded events from between the lines.

It turned out that Master was already married and seemed like her husband was also a skilled swordsman, and they had a deep affection for each other. Master once told me she wanted to merge and refine the strengths of a hundred schools to create a unique school of swordsmanship. Now it seemed it was her husband’s idea. He even seemed to have joked about it with Master. It was too bad that both of them were sword masters, and Master was a prideful one, so the joke immediately incensed her. She declared to create her own school and compete against each other in twenty years to see whose was better. After that, she left without saying goodbye, taking the sword manuals her husband had gathered with her. Knowing that her husband was looking for her, she even wandered around to avoid him in the first few years. That was when we met and followed by a year of wandering. 

Later, there was no more news of Master’s husband searching for her. Master thought he must have given up, so she settled down in Mount Hua with me and devoted herself to refining her swordsmanship. But there was love, after all. As the days went by, she would still miss him and reflect on the past. It was only her feelings were insignificant. Hence with blood as a channel for her feelings, she wrote down these words to be witnessed in the future. 

Master was unbending. Even with blood as her feelings, all these entries were written short and simple, mostly just a few words. It did not take me long to finish them. Apart from these blood-written texts, the things recorded later on were some sword training’s ideas, progress, and stuff that happened in life, and even the course of taking Lian’er and me as her disciples was recorded at the end.

I finished it in a short while, and that was how I happened to learn about the whole story. It was hard for me to not get emotional. In those days when I was wandering around with Master, I thought there must be some kind of Jianghu feud stories about her, but her story turned out to be so simple. All because of a joke and an act of spite. 

For a moment, I was so engrossed in my feelings that I forgot there was someone else waiting beside me with eager eyes.

It was probably the tacit understanding developed back then when I was reading the medical book. Whenever I was reading something, especially something useful, Lian’er would usually wait patiently and would not make a fuss or rush me. But now that I was still silent after finishing it, she finally got antsy. She tugged at my sleeve and asked: “Hey, how’s it? What do those fancy words say? Are they useful?”

I shook my head. After giving a little thought, I told her exactly what was written in it combined with my understanding of it. Although much of what was written were Master’s inner thoughts, they indeed had nothing to do with her preferences or anything like that. 

Of course, she was not happy to hear that and seemed rather unhappy about it, staring stone-faced at the scroll for some time. Then she suddenly looked up at me, seeming bewildered aside from looking unhappy: “You mean Master likes another person besides us? She loves this man? More than us?”

“Silly girl…” I thought she was upset about something, and I was thinking about how to comfort her. But a question from her that came out of nowhere amused me instead. 

“What are you so upset about? Master’s love for us is that of a master and disciples, but for him, it’s that of a man and a woman. They’re two different kinds of love.”

“Love between a man and a woman?” Lian’er understood the relationship between master and disciple, so she had no questions about that. Instead, she skipped right to the latter kind. She tilted her head and wondered: “How does the love between a man and a woman look like? What’s the difference?”

This was…not an easy question to answer. 

For an instant, I almost knew how parents feel when confronted with an innocent and awkward question from their child, so I just went with what most parents would do in response—giving a vague answer: “Hmm…well, you’re still young, Lian’er. You’ll understand when you get older…”

Somehow, I felt a sudden thud in my heart as I spoke!

Will you naturally understand the love between a man and a woman once you get older? Yeah, didn’t you realize that before? 

This child beside me was slowly growing from a girl to a young lady. Even though she was just twelve-year-old, in this world where people could get married at the age of thirteen or fourteen, a love relationship was not too far off for her.

But…who would be the man?

I had been calling her Lian’er all this while. She was our Lian’er. The Lian’er, who was abandoned by her father, raised by a mother wolf, and brought back by us from the wolf’s den by chance. That was what I had told myself.

I had been calling her that all these years. I almost forgot she had another name. 

Lian Nichang.

She was once so small, a teeny-tiny wolf kid. At that time, I could not associate her with her name at all, so I forgot about it soon after. In a couple more years, I had completely put it aside and never thought of it again. 

And yet? Look at the person standing beside me right now. The scene by the creek flashed before my eyes. She was still adorable, but now there were other words that can represent her. And those words were used to describe women, such as slender and gorgeous. 

Having the poise of the autumn water and the look of jade, she was now closer to the legendary lady who towered above the world. 

So? There was a lady named Lian Nichang. Then would there be that…that man? A man named Zhuo Yihang, who would hurt her, fail her, and burden her for half of her life? 

I did not know, and I did not want to know either. It was best to never know. I felt irritated for no reason. Regardless of whether I believed it or not, I admitted that as soon as I tried to think about such a possibility that Lian’er would know such a person, know the taste of love, be hurt by it, suffer from it, and even end up…, I felt terrible. An indescribable feeling overwhelmed me. 

After all these years, I had consciously or unconsciously held this child deep in my heart, even deeper than Master. Master had her past, her experiences, and someone she loved. And she, like I, had no attachments in this world and seldom relied on anyone else. We saw each other as a presence that would always be there for one another.

Maybe, this was why it shook me so much to think about it compared to a few years ago. I could no longer accept such a possibility—the possibility that someone might hurt Lian’er in the future and hurt her so deeply, so badly, so absurdly.

And yet…

I took a deep breath, slowly letting out all the stale air in my chest. And yet, so what if I could not accept it? 

I think a lot, so it is not uncommon for me to halt in the middle of a conversation. The person beside me had something in her mind, and she was a short-tempered one. When she saw that I was not talking, she did not bombard me with questions, but went rummaging around the chamber, perhaps with the thought of not losing any time.

As my gaze followed the nimble figure, I smiled wryly. I could not be telling her: “Lian’er, whenever you meet a man surnamed Zhuo in the future, you must stay far away from him and never talk to him, nor can you like him, etc.” If I really said so, I could guarantee she would pay more attention to people with this surname instead.

For now, I could only take one step at a time.

But I was sure of one thing—I want to protect her. My Lian’er could be the one who captivated the world and rose above it, but she would never be the heartbroken woman whose hair turned white overnight in the story.

Never!

The Witch Nichang– Chapter 21

The Stone Chamber

Really.

I sometimes felt like I might never get used to it—to the child’s occasional, unexpected behaviors that would hit people right in their feels.

I never thought about her birthday, yet she remembered mine, even thought about sending me a gift when it snowed. It really left…me speechless. I dropped my head and looked up at her before I managed to lift my lips and put a smile on my face again.

After that, I looked quietly into her eyes and listened to her voice talking.

She didn’t notice anything standing in front of me and just carried on happily on her own, telling me how she had found these two stones and carved them into her desired shape bit by bit with the sword Master gave her. I listened in silence, but I saw her slowly knitting her brows as she spoke, as if she had thought of something troubling.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, reaching out my hand to rub her knitted brows.

She was a child who didn’t like to show her weakness, especially in front of me. Her eyes flickered for a second when she heard me asking. She looked over at me a few times before she finally made up her mind and spoke with some concern.

“But…” She said: “After all being said, these are still not good enough. Even I’m not satisfied with it myself. It’s bad to give it to Master and you.”

Stunned, I wondered: “What’s bad about them? Aren’t they nice? I quite like them.”

“But look.” She thrust those two little things up in front of my face, even closer than they had been earlier. “They were smooth before. After they’ve been carved, they aren’t even as smooth as the stones on the creek bank. They’re uncomfortable to touch.”

They were too close to my face. I had to lean back a little to be able to focus and take a closer look. I found that indeed, as Lian’er had said, streaks of scratches were left on the pure colored stones, faint but numerous, which would surely make it rough to touch.

I wanted to tell her that it is okay, that it is the thought that counts and the heart that matters, but I knew the child too well. She had the tendency to go to extremes about things she cared about. This time, I believed she was taking the gift very seriously, and she subconsciously had a sense of competition. She would never want to give anything less than what I gave to Master last time. I feared it would be counterproductive to give her this grand-sounding talk straight away.

It was best to think of a way to help her with this problem.

I was thinking and working my brain, and when I thought of what she had said about the stones on the creek bank, I incidentally glanced at the flowing water beside me. An idea suddenly came to mind, and I said with a smile: “Lian’er, I have an idea.”

“What?” She tilted her head and looked over this way, not very excited, but there was anticipation in her eyes.

“The reason why the surface of the stones on the riverbank was smooth was that the water was washing against the stones for a long period of time.” I explained it to her: “So, as long as you find a net to hold these two stones and leave it in the rapids. With the power of nature, they’ll surely be polished smooth and rid of any scratches, but…”

“But what?” She prompted.

“But I’m afraid it’s going to take quite a bit of time, that’s all. It isn’t going to happen overnight…”

Her eyes that had just brightened up dimmed down again: “The thing is, there’s no time. Master’s birthday is coming up in a few days…”

Now was the chance.

I chuckled and hugged her soothingly, affectionately, touching the skin on her waist by accident. It was warm and soft. A strange feeling welled up in my heart.

But I had no time to think about it now. I took this opportunity to say what I had been wanting to say: “Lian’er, it doesn’t matter how nice the gift is; it’s how deep your love that matters. The mug I gave last time wasn’t that nice either. Master likes it isn’t because it’s a nice mug , so I dare to say, as long as you give it to Master, she’ll be happy. It doesn’t matter much if it’s flawless or not. You don’t have to be bothered about it too much.”

Because of the roundabout earlier, she didn’t take offense of what I said and probably took it in. But after giving it some thought, she still shook her head and said: “I’d rather not. I don’t want to give it to her like this when I can do better.”

“Really?” A stubborn one indeed. I had more or less expected it. I wasn’t going to argue. I was just going to go along with her and smiled: “In that case, let’s find a net and place them in the water. There are still many days to go, won’t it be the same to give it to Master next year?”

“What about this year? Just forget about it?” She sulked, her face filled with reluctance.

I didn’t want to make the situation more complicated, so at first, I was going to convince her that it was okay to forget about it this time. Maybe I was used to seeing that radiant look on her. Seeing a look of dejection appeared on her face, I didn’t know why my heart felt a little heavy. With a change of thought, I started coming up with ideas again. I told her that a gift didn’t have to be hand-made. It could be something you bought specially for her. Of course, it was best to buy what she liked.

The idea itself was all right and perfectly fine.

But it was only after, long after that I would often wonder if I had talked her out of it if there hadn’t been that change of thought, that idea, would everything have been different?

Maybe it would. Without the trigger, something buried would just stay buried forever.

Maybe it wouldn’t. Even without the trigger, no one could be sure at what point, at what time in the future, and by what chance, another one would emerge quietly.

No matter what, maybe was always just a maybe.

The truth was Lian’er indeed brightened up after hearing what I said. Although she was still a little bothered about not being able to give Master a hand-made gift, she was relieved to be told that she could give a gift to Master on both of her birthdays. Then she began to think, seriously and single-mindedly, about buying a gift.

Buying a gift itself wasn’t a problem. Although Lian’er had a temper and didn’t like to talk to strangers at the foot of the mountain, she would be fine with me by her side, at least she wouldn’t cause any trouble. It was just that we were both stuck on finding out what Master liked.

She wasn’t picky about anything, be it clothing, or food, or the place she lived, or the things she used. She used whatever she had, rarely asking for anything. It was even harder to see her show any particular preferences. I was ashamed to say, the reason I gave her a ceramic mug that time was because I had learned something about pottery before for fun, and I remembered that there was a potter at the foot of the mountain, which was why I went to make one on a whim. I didn’t really consider what Master liked.

But since I had said that to Lian’er, and she had taken it seriously, I shouldn’t disappoint her. She and I had been thinking about it for a while, but to no avail. In the end, I didn’t know where Lian’er misunderstood, she discontentedly blamed it all on the fact that Master was always in retreat, and thus came to the conclusion that she had to get into the meditation chamber and check out what was inside.

When she said that, I was surprised.

No one had ever entered the stone chamber at the end of Yellow Dragon cave over the years, except Master. I knew the purpose of the chamber since it was first carved out, so I had been avoiding it knowingly or unknowingly. I had never been near it, except to serve Master food and water when she was in meditation retreat. Even when I brought food and water to her, I never looked around and always got out of there fast.

Maybe it was the subtle influence from me, she had never been in there, though she didn’t seem to be scared of it. Of course, it could be she had never been interested in it.

Anyway, after all these years, it was a de facto no-go area between Master and us disciples, although Master hadn’t said anything about it.

The moment I heard Lian’er wanted to check out such a place to find clues to what Master liked, I was reflexively against it and tried to talk her out, but I couldn’t convince her because I couldn’t explain why. Master hadn’t given any order not to enter, not even a casual remark, so Lian’er insisted that it was fine, and eventually, even I myself, was a little curious.

It is just the way people are. No matter how rational they are, deep down, there will always be a desire to explore mysterious, unknown places.

So in the end, I still agreed to Lian’er’s idea, even agreed to go with her, but only on the condition that she had to be patient and calm and wait for a time like when Master went down the mountain before we could bring our plan into action.

But in fact, it didn’t require much patience at all.

We were almost back in the cave when I remembered that Master had vaguely said something earlier like she was going down the mountain the next day for something when Master asked me to get Lian’er.

The next day, she really went down the mountain and didn’t sense anything unusual like always when she left.

Lian’er kept her promise. She did stay calm. Even when she heard that Master was leaving, she didn’t show the slightest difference in her behavior, which was surprising compared to her usual behaviors. But she jumped up as soon as Master left, eagerly wanting to proceed immediately, but was forced to sit down by me for a while with some coaxing. Only until I was sure Master had gone far and wouldn’t return because she had forgotten something did I let go of her hand.

Once I let go of her hand, she couldn’t hold back anymore—she didn’t have to as well. She came to the end of the cave in a few steps, channeled her qi, and moved the boulders that served as the doors with two palm strikes. Then she held them and pushed open a gap that allowed a person to get through. With all that done, she turned back, smiled at me smugly, and went ahead first.

Shaking my head with a smile tugged at my lips, I followed behind.

I knew the size of the chamber and the general look of it because I had watched Master carve it out at that time. But the chamber was unlit now, so it was dark.

This level of dimness was nothing to Lian’er, but it definitely had an effect on average people. I fished out a flint, not daring to light the candle on the table, for I feared that Master would find out what was going on later when she was back, so I went out to get an oil lamp and lit it up before taking a closer look at the layout of the stone chamber.

Speaking of layout, the interior was basic. There wasn’t even a table and a chair. The block of stone right in the middle of the chamber served as a table. On its side, there was a cushion for seating. A niche was carved out of the stone wall beside it, but it wasn’t used to honor the gods or the Buddha. After placing the quilt and cushions in the niche, it turned into a place to sleep at night.

Other than these large items, all that was left was some odds and ends. Holding an oil lamp to look around, I could see only more of the various sword techniques engraved on the stone walls, some new and some old, with different postures, some of which seemed familiar, some of which I had learnt long ago. I supposed they were the insights Master gained from meditation over the years.

How could we tell what Master liked from such a place that looked simpler than the outer cave? I was a little discouraged, but Lian’er wouldn’t give up. She searched under the mat and other stuff and rummaged through the quilt and cushions in the niche.

When I was just about to remind her not to make a mess, lest Master grew suspicious when she came back, I heard a cheer of delight coming from her.

Then when I was about to ask, I saw Lian’er turn around and stride over holding a roll of something in her hand. She didn’t say much when she came to me, just shoved the roll to me and asked urgently: “What’s this?”

I looked down at it and answered without thinking: “A parchment.”

This reply drew a look of disdain from her. Lian’er glared at me askance and said angrily: “Of course, I know this is a parchment. Inside, I mean inside!”

Placing the oil lamp on the block of stone, I carefully opened the thing with both hands, fearing that I might accidentally break it. The scroll was so long that it might as well have been a book. The beginning and the middle part of the scroll were filled with various sword styles, the same as those engraved on the stone walls, except for the addition of cultivation methods. I assumed it was the final draft Master put together. This might be something that many people in Jianghu dreamt of, but it had nothing to do with the purpose of this search with Lian’er.

I looked up and was about to say that to her, but then I felt something was off. Even if there were words that Lian’er didn’t know, she should be able to recognize the sword styles. It was impossible for her to be so excited just because she discovered this.

At the thought of that, I opened it up patiently, little by little. Towards the end of the scroll, I saw a dark red text, looking completely different from the text before.

I was startled. If I wasn’t mistaken, this dark red was clearly formed after the blood had dried. This…this was a letter written in blood? I didn’t dare to jump to a conclusion, so I asked Lian’er, and as I expected, it was what I thought it was. Naturally, she wouldn’t know the significance of a bloodletter. She only knew it was written in blood and intuited that it was different. That was why she was full of anticipation.

But looking at the thing on my hand, something didn’t feel right. Under normal circumstances, writing a bloodletter was always supposed to happen during a crisis or at a critical moment, but the words before me were neat, densely written, and clearly wasn’t written in panic.

I was puzzled, so I just held the scroll and perused its contents.

Upon perusal of it, I was surprised to discover that it was none other than Master’s own diary written over the years! Or rather, a diary-like existence that she had written now and then in longhand throughout the years!

The Witch Nichang- Chapter 20

Water

Actually, what…what was I panicking about?

Weird. By the time I realized what I was thinking, my hands were still on my ears. The skin was hot, and the beating in my chest was much faster than usual.

I reached the creek bank in a few steps and squatted, scooping up some water to wet my ears. A cold sensation instantaneously rushed up, and with the wind blowing against my face, the refreshing feeling spread all over my body. Then I stood up and softly let out a long breath.

That was right. Just now, I was just…taken by surprise. 

I had once hiked past a small village, and a few naked children suddenly sprang out of a corner. I was taken by surprise that time, so…so was this time.

I had never lived in a community before and never been to places like bathhouses, so I wasn’t used to seeing naked bodies. Master and I were the ones who bathed Lian’er when we first brought her back and had done similar things a few more times since then, but we hadn’t bathed her since she was a little older. It had been so long. It was only natural to be surprised seeing her nak…em unprepared, wasn’t it…

My heart gradually calmed down when I thought of it this way. I shook the water off my hands and brushed the corner of my clothes, but was still standing with my back to the other side, unwilling to turn over. 

I didn’t look back until a hand patted on my shoulder and a “Hey—” came from behind me.

But I frowned the moment I turned around.

The person behind me was now almost as tall as I was. Her facial features had become more and more exquisite over the years. Unfortunately, her temperament remained the same. A few wisps of hair on her forehead was dripping, and her clothes were still wet, but she didn’t care, draped them over her body, and walked over barefoot to meet me.

“Why are your clothes wet? Weren’t you wearing nothing just now? Or did you slip and fall into the water before?” I pulled her over and checked on her from head to toe, not seeing anything unusual.

“It’s all because of you.” She pouted and answered placidly: “They were dry at first, but you were yelling at me to put them on, so I went ahead and put them on. Now you’re complaining when I do so.”

When I heard that, I rolled my eyes at her, not bothering to twaddle with her, and replied casually: “Okay, okay, it’s my fault. I should have reminded you that you can’t put on your clothes when your body is wet, that you need to dry off first.” Yet I was pulling her away from the tree’s shade towards the rocky bank where we could get some sun. 

She was satisfied after getting the better of me verbally and followed me with a smile. It wasn’t until we reached the rocky bank and stood still that she asked with curiosity: “Why did you pull me over? What’s the difference between talking over here and over there?” 

Why? To get some sun. I pulled her over to stand on a flat boulder and responded as I fixed her loose sash: “It’s easy for you to sneak out earlier. Master’s looking for you, so she ordered me to look for you, but by the look of you now, you’d better dry off first, or else you’ll make her angry again when you’re back.”

Standing in the sun, she said nothing, just cozily closed her eyes, and spread her arms like she was going to let me fix her up at will. 

It was mid-summer, and her body temperature was a little higher than average, so she was wearing only a light-colored unlined garment now, which was made of the softest fabric we could find at the bottom of the mountain. The thin material gave the wearer a graceful look, but that was exactly why I noticed an…issue when I started fixing her clothes. 

Her clothes’ fabric was too thin. She had put them on when her body was wet, so her clothes were soaked through now. It was bad enough having the clothes clung to her body, and there was the fact that it was light-colored. I didn’t notice it when standing in the shade, but now that we were standing in the sun, I could see everything under her clothes, even the color of her skin was apparent. 

I was fine before I noticed it. But I felt weird again now that I took notice of it. What I had seen just now somehow surfaced in my mind. Although it was just a glimpse of memory, her shapely fairness stayed in my mind. 

We had always been together day and night and had been growing up together. Perhaps, that was why I hadn’t paid much attention to her changes. It was only now that it dawned on me that the child’s body had gradually shown the curves of a young girl. But she was only twelve years old, wasn’t this development a little…?

My face heated up somehow when I realized what I was thinking. She happened to be fixing her clothes. The transparent fabric could barely cover anything, and its blurriness added to my embarrassment instead. 

I averted my gaze from her and hurried up, trying to get it done as soon as possible. 

As the saying goes, a fool’s haste is no speed. The more I think about it, the more troubles I ran into. Because I wasn’t looking, there was a knot that I didn’t tie it right, so when I pulled from both ends, the sash not only didn’t tighten, it loosened instead. Two small objects fell out from the sash’s interlining. Before I could see what they were, they had dropped onto the rocks and were rolling towards the water. 

It all happened so suddenly. Before I could react, Lian’er’s eyes had gaped open; she wheeled around without looking and caught the objects with just a scoop before it fell into the rapids. 

Then, I heard a splash, and the water was splattering everywhere. 

“Lian—Lian’er! Are you alright?” My heart skipped a beat. As I stared at the water, I saw her emerge from the water before I could finish my words, shaking off the water on her head like a pup, and waded ashore, dripping.

I went to her in a hurry. 

Once ashore, she ignored everything else and opened her palm first to check on the things in it. I supposed she had made sure they were fine, so she looked relieved. She smiled to herself and looked up at me, puckering her face and pursing her lips as if she was about to throw a fit. But she thought better of it.

I didn’t care what she was thinking and quickly wrung the water out of her clothes for her. They were just wet before, and I figured they would dry off if she stayed in the sun for a while, but well, she was drenched like a drowned rat now. 

I was irritated, yet I didn’t know what to say. Besides, I had no right to blame her because I also had something to do with what just happened, so I could only keep it to myself. I silently led her to a boulder’s edge to sit down, took off her braid first, and let her long, dripping hair down. After slightly drying it, I went around to her front to take off her clothes. 

She had no problem with me letting down her hair, but when she saw me reaching out to unbutton her clothes, she pouted and asked: “What’re you doing?”

“Your clothes are dripping. Beware of getting rheumatism in the future if you keep them on. Besides, it dries faster if you take them off.” I answered her plainly, not caring if she understood what rheumatism was. My hands kept unbuttoning her clothes. I didn’t feel awkward at this moment as I was piqued and stripped her clean swiftly.

I wasn’t embarrassed, and she was even less embarrassed than I was. She just symbolically protested and let me do my thing. After I was done, she stretched and moved herself to a dry boulder by the side. Like the wolf in the distance, she lay down and curled up cozily under the sun; her hands were still playing with the two small objects. 

That was what I saw when I looked back after spreading the wet clothes out to dry on another boulder. I couldn’t stand looking at her even if I wasn’t embarrassed. I went over, took off my coat, and was about to put it on her. Unlike Lian’er with high body temperature, I knew my body was weak, and the temperature difference between day and night in the mountains was huge, so as long as it wasn’t too warm, I would put on a coat even in summer, lest I caught a cold. In the end, it was me who suffered. 

She didn’t mind anything I did before. Only when I took off my coat and was about to put it on her did she start acting against me and refused to accept it no matter what. I cajoled her for some time. Finally, only after I wiped the sweat on my forehead to prove that it was warm now and that I didn’t need the coat did she take it over reluctantly and draped it over her shoulders.

It was a little quiet for the rest of the time. We sat side by side in the sun, listening to the babbling of the creek, talking to each other from time to time while waiting for her hair and clothes to dry. There was no such thing as an endless talk between people who spent their days and nights together. More often than not, we were just being together in silence. I covered my mouth and yawned idly. From the corner of my eyes, I saw the things she had been holding, and that caught my attention.

If it were before, I might have hesitated for a bit, but we had fewer qualms about each other now, so when the thought came to my mind, I asked her straight away: “Lian’er, what’s so important in your hand? You went out of your way to catch it just now.”

When she heard that, she looked slightly hesitant as if she didn’t know if she should just say it, but she still opened her hand in the end and showed me what was in it.

What lay in her hand were just two stones, similar to those pebbles on the rocky bank, but their colors were pure, one black, one white. At first glance, it was easy to mistake them for jades. While the shape was apparently carved by hand, the carving seemed a bit…

“I made them.” She was hesitant before she showed them to me, but now she sounded proud: “It’s Master’s birthday in a few days. You secretly made something for her last year, so it’s my turn to make something for her this year.”

“Ah!” I called out. If she hadn’t mentioned it, I would have forgotten about it. 

When I came into this world, I only knew I was born in winter; I never cared which day it was, much less celebrated it. Besides, the rules here seemed to be a little different: they only celebrated their birthday at certain ages. I never bothered to understand it, and Master never cared about it, as if we had naturally forgotten about it.

Of course, Lian’er wouldn’t understand something we didn’t care about, not until last year when we went down the mountain together and met a country gentleman celebrating his seventieth birthday. It was a lively scene, and that was when Lian’er got curious. With Master and I explaining it to her, she somewhat understood it. After that, she kept asking for our birthday. I didn’t know mine anyway, so I just answered frankly, but Master, both disdainful of lying to coax her and unable to resist the child’s insistence, finally had no choice but to tell her her birthday. 

When she told Lian’er, I was listening in by the side. Subconsciously, I did the math and realized it was soon. It didn’t matter if I didn’t know, but it was always a bit of a concern if I did. However, I didn’t know the rules, so I had no idea what was the right thing to do. I ended up going to a potter at the foot of the mountain, begged him to let me make my own mug, and gave it to Master respectfully. 

These were all trivial matters. I didn’t do it to please anyone. It was not even a birthday celebration. I just wanted to take the opportunity to show my inexpressible gratitude to Master. Who knew Lian’er would get mad when she found out and blamed me for not taking her along. She got so furious that she wouldn’t talk to me for days. It took me a lot of coaxing to quench her anger. I thought it was over, but it turned out she had always remembered it. 

Since I knew she cared, I didn’t want to tease her on this matter. I took a serious look at the stones on her palm and praised with a smile: “You made them yourself? Nice work. They’re…pretty.”

When she heard my praise, she lit up. Holding one in each hand, she stuck them in front of me and said with pride: “They’re beautiful, aren’t they? It took me a lot of time to find such beautiful ones, and they’re a pair!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. Who on earth gives their elder something that comes in a pair? Others might think it’s for her sweetheart…well, Lian’er didn’t know what a sweetheart was yet.

While I was poking fun at her to myself, the child continued: “I’ll give one of these to Master, and when it snows in the winter, I’ll give the other one to you. Though you don’t know when you were born, it’s in winter after all, right?”

Translator’s note:
I’ve reached my Kofi goal!! I’ll update another chapter by the end of this week as a reward. Thanks for everyone who supported me on Kofi. Every bit helps and means a lot to me. Love y’all <3

The Witch Nichang– Chapter 19

A Few Years

“There is no calendar in the mountains, and when winter is over, you don’t know the time of year.”

When I was young, I had read “Journey to the West” in my spare time. I had forgotten everything, except the classic plots, and that was the only line that stuck in my mind. I envied the monkey’s free and unrestrained spirit when he was just born and yearned to be like him, so when I became an adult, I developed a hobby of carrying a backpack and traveling across the country on foot in quest of scenic places.

But still, it wasn’t until now that I truly understood the meaning of the line. 

In this life, I had lived in the mountains for years. I was born and raised in the mountains, even most of the wandering and setting after following Master was in the mountains. Occasionally, we would make a trip downhill to purchase household goods, so it wasn’t so bad as not knowing the time of year, but the concept of time did become much more blurry. More often than not, I only paid attention to the change of the seasons and climate and watched out for what we were wearing.

Therefore, three years after three years, time passed in a blink of an eye, and life went on as usual. 

Those who were accustomed to the world’s glitz and glamour might not stand such an unchanging life, but for myself, I had never gotten tired of it. Instead, I found the slow daily routine to be pleasant, with little worry and little thought. Nothing mattered much.

I wouldn’t feel lonely, for my heart was settled, and there dwelled in it people, like family, like friends, staying close by. 

Aside from being arrogant and disagreeable, Lian’er was a cheerful and fun-loving person, but the fun was limited to what she liked. Unlike most people, she would rather spend her days roaming and playing with the pack in the woods, or drag me to the mountaintop to play than jostling with the crowds in the market at the foothills.

Besides, as we grew up, Master wasn’t willing to take us down the mountain anymore. Her exact words were we were too conspicuous.

I had no doubt about that. In fact, Master was still the center of attention even when she was out by herself. In the past few years, Lian’er and I had been growing taller and taller, yet Master hadn’t aged in the slightest. Her features still looked the same. On the contrary, her demeanor with the way she carried herself was getting more remarkable, adding some splendor to her. I thought she had a secret recipe for retaining her youthful look, but came to think of it, I didn’t see her making any special effort on it, so I could only chalk it up to the cultivation method, taking a wild guess.

Master’s mind was, after all, on her martial arts. For the past few years, apart from closed-door meditation, she had devoted most of her energy to urging us on, especially on Lian’er’s martial arts attainments. 

I would sometimes feel the way she urged us on was as if she was afraid that time would fly like a white pony’s shadow across a crevice, like she wouldn’t have enough if she wasn’t careful.

I hadn’t told anyone about this random thought. 

When I said anyone, aside from Master and I, there was only one other person—Lian’er. She had always lived up to Master’s expectations. One explanation was all she needed to understand anything related to martial arts. Even Master had more than once praised her endowment as being rare in the world, not to say I felt insignificant in the face of her talent. One might well say it was something you couldn’t ask for. 

On the other hand, she was somewhat spontaneous when it came to practice. When she was in the mood, she wouldn’t take a break from practice. When she wasn’t in the mood, she would skip a few days of practice. All in all, she always caused Master a headache. 

Just like today. 

Today, as usual, I was planning our meals for the day early in the morning. Frankly, I wasn’t much of a cook. Especially without all the spices and seasonings, what I could make was limited, but Master and Lian’er had been eating it for years and had never complained. This pleased me and made me even determined to put in the work to make it better. 

As I was preparing the meal, Master came up behind me and asked with a stern face: “Xian’er, have you seen your martial sister?”

I turned my head slightly and saw from the corner of my eyes that Master was holding a fuchsia wooden sword. Even though it was a wooden sword, it was made of top-quality Hsienmu wood, sounding like metal, as hard as steel, and extremely heavy. It was a fine item Master found by chance during the year when we were traveling together. It was meant to be used for training my wrist strength, but it was only in Lian’er’s hands that it was put to good use. 

The moment when I saw Master holding it, and her face was grave, I had a good idea of what happened, so I replied with reverence: “She went out early this morning, and I haven’t seen her.”

The answer didn’t please Master. She glared at me and scolded me: “Okay, cut it out, don’t play dumb for her. You think I don’t know you yet? You’re always so protective of her and even closer to her than you’re to me as your master. She went out early this morning, but she will come back to you when she’s hungry, won’t she?”

My lie was exposed on the spot. I rubbed my nose in embarrassment and said with a flattering smile: “It’s not that I want to cover her. Lian’er had put a lot of effort into practicing martial arts the other day. As the saying goes, work hard, play hard, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to let her go for a walk today. If it’s something important, I’ll just go get her back.”

If it was nothing important, Master wouldn’t usually ask me to do it when I said so. But it did seem like she wanted Lian’er for something today, so she cut the nonsense and said with a wave: “Well then, get going and be back soon. I have to go down the mountain to handle some business tomorrow after having a word with her.”

Having seen that, I said nothing more, just nodded at Master, turned, and scooted off the cave. 

When I got outside, I headed west without hesitation and found the wolf pack at the mountain pass with familiarity. Over the past few years, if Lian’er had gone out, nine times out of ten, she had been with them. 

When we became closer, I had once tried to talk her out of it. I said to her: “You’re a human now, no longer a member of the wolf pack. If you always bring your harvest to them like this, it’ll diminish their wild nature and hunting ability over time. As kind as you are, what’s the difference between that and a mountain man taming a dog?”

When I said that, I expected her to lose her temper, and she did. But two days later, she came back to me and admitted that I had a point. Since then, she never brought any large prey to them, and when she did, she only brought a little, giving priority to taking care of the sick mother wolves and their pups.

As such, I had no reason to stop her, and sometimes, I would tag along and take care of the sick and the old with her.

As time went by, I became acquainted with the wolves, and they treated me as one of their own, which kind of fulfilled Lian’er’s initial intention of getting me into her gang. 

Today, as usual, the wolves resting in the grass paid no attention to my arrival and didn’t cause an uproar at all, still going about their business and waving their tails leisurely. There were a few juveniles at the age where they liked to snuggle. When they saw me, they scrambled forward eagerly and kept on nuzzling my hand with their wet noses. 

Stooping down, I looked around as I busied myself with them and called for Lian’er a few times, but I didn’t see that familiar figure. I couldn’t help feeling a little puzzled.

Then a female wolf came up to me. 

I couldn’t see the difference between each wolf as well as Lian’er, but only with this wolf, I could recognize her at first glance because I once killed one of her pups.

She was a young female wolf then, but now, she was in her prime. I couldn’t tell why, but I could see she had a fairly high status in the pack. At this moment, she strolled over, brushed my calf with her tail, then turned around, took a few steps, stopped again, and looked back over. 

Surprised, I knew the wolf was a highly intelligent animal, but this was the first time I had encountered such an obvious hint from an animal. I hesitated a little and felt that it should be fine, so I gently pushed the pups aside, stood up, and ran after her. 

She casually led the way, at least she looked like she was leading the way, guiding me into the woods, and I followed behind her at an even pace. The wolves had been roaming around here for months, and I was familiar with these woods, so I wasn’t afraid of getting lost or anything.

But when I saw her slowly leading me deeper into the woods, towards a mountain creek where they usually drank water, I got a little confused. It would be a big joke if she just wanted to get a drink of water, and I got the wrong idea. 

I was hesitant on my way there, but I still ended up following her to the destination. 

I wasn’t wrong. The end destination was indeed the clear creek where the wolves usually drank water. The female wolf stopped when she reached there, just lay down on a boulder and looked at me. 

I looked at her too, then at the sputtering mountain creek. The water here wasn’t too deep. The water at the shallow end was so clear that you could see down to the bottom of the creek, but it was wide, and the current was rapid. A few streams intertwined, forming a water net, traveling, and gushing downstream. Standing nearby, I could feel a hint of coolness in the fresh air. It was exhilarating. 

But at the moment, I didn’t understand why she brought me here. Could it be that Lian’er came here to drink water like them? Or had I gotten the wrong idea? Or…

Before I could think anything out, there came the sound of feet splashing through the water. 

Out of instinct, I turned to the direction of the sound and saw a figure wading through the water, emerging from behind a creek boulder. She was walking in the shallow end of the water, but the current was rapid, and the water was waist high, slapping against her body with considerable speed. The water bouncing off her was splashing all around; each bead of water was glittering under the sun. 

The person was a familiar one, except… 

“Lian’er! What’re you doing? Quick, get out of the water! Be careful not to slip!” I yelled, knowing that I was worrying for nothing but I was still worried. But for that moment, I could only stand there; I could neither go over or look at her. 

When she heard my voice, she wheeled around with a look of joy, sprang out of the water with a deep breath, landed steadily on the rocks by the bank, and came scampering over barefoot. 

I was getting flustered and could only cover my face and yell at her: “Stay back! You…you put on your clothes first!”

After that, my ears were burning, and I had no idea what the child was doing in the water. Maybe she wanted to play with the water or simply to take a bath. Either way, her lack of vigilance was…how could she…just not care at all even after getting out of the water…

With my face covered, I didn’t know how she reacted to my yelling. I could only hear the pattering footsteps go a little further away. She probably went to where she put her clothes. I didn’t have the nerve to look anyway, so I pinched my ears and looked away, then I realized the wolf was still lying on the boulder behind me, wagging her tail as if she was enjoying the show. 

I shot a glare at her and bawled softly: “You’re not allowed to look either.”

The Witch Nichang– Chapter 18

Afternoon

I had taken the medicine that Lian’er picked twice tonight, the first time was at midnight, and the second time was at the first light. 

Both times, she was the one who brought the medicine over and called me. I was ashamed to say that because of the drowsiness, I ended up not knowing whether she had rested or gone to sleep at all for the whole night, but I knew even if she had, she mustn’t have slept well. 

They were common herbs, after all. No matter how thick you boiled it down, the effect was still mild and slow. The only reassuring thing was that the condition was at least not worsening and was under control.

The reason I told her this on purpose was to ease her mind so that she could go to rest. Who knew, after hearing this, she pressed her lips together, thought about it for a second, and said with a sudden realization: “Then I’d better go get some more herbs, in case it isn’t enough.” With that said, she lifted her leg and was ready to set off. 

Between tears and laughter, I reached out in a hurry and held her. We stared at each other like this for a while. In the end, she didn’t go. 

Not that I was capable, but because Master had returned. 

We were tugging at each other when she came back, and neither of us noticed right off. It was the child who reacted first. She halted and looked towards the cave entrance as if she felt something. Then, she called out in excitement and went over. It was then I turned around and saw Master walking in. 

She seemed a little disconcerted, judging from her look now. But I couldn’t tell where exactly. The thought merely flickered in my mind; it didn’t make much noise. I waited for her to come a little closer and was going to get up and salute her, but Master came straight over and pushed me back to bed. She reached out her hand, felt my forehead and pulse, and asked me some questions, to which I answered honestly. Then, I saw her knitted brows finally loosened up a little, like a sigh of relief.

It was also a relief for us that Master made it back safely. We knew that her martial arts were unfathomable, but it was only human to worry in the face of the unknown. I did, and I believed that so did Lian’er. 

That was why the child seemed so happy in that instant. 

For some time after that, it was Master who took care of me.

The medicine she brought back from the mountain’s base was prescribed by an old doctor in the town. Each dose consisted of a mixture of several herbs packed in a packet with a complete prescription. The effect was naturally incomparable to the one cooked out of one or two kinds of herbs picked from the mountains. Even so, I was still feeling dizzy for a few days before the medicine kicked in and slowly suppressed the condition. 

I was always grateful to Master. I didn’t want to use such exaggerated, sentimental words like ‘indebted’ to express my gratitude to her, but I remembered everything she did by heart.

Like this time, it was me who disobeyed her, and the reason I got sick after staying under the rain was also because of my weak body. To sum up, I brought it all on myself, yet she still hurried down the hill and didn’t mention a word about how difficult the journey was when she came back, just silently staying by my side, making sure I took my medicine and got changed, just like how I stayed by her side when we first met. Though she didn’t say much, everything was done with all her heart. 

Actually, I more or less had my doubts. I had a feeling that something might have happened to Master during the trip downhill because of her subtle distress when she returned. And also because even the largest flash flood—maybe it could hold her back for a few hours, even forced her to make a detour—even so, it wouldn’t have taken her an entire day. 

But since Master didn’t bring it up, I kept it to myself, keeping to our usual way of being together. 

As for Lian’er, I didn’t think she was aware of it. Although she was highly intuitive, she was still young and naive. She wouldn’t observe others’ expressions or moods and overthink as I would find myself doing. 

Speaking of the child, she had been out of sight again ever since Master had returned. 

Because I didn’t see her often, sometimes I sighed and wondered if all the worries she had about me that night were just a whim of the moment, and I was just being self-conscious because of that old habit of overthinking?

After thinking about it this way, I felt it wasn’t. 

Perhaps I was just comforting myself, but it was hard to see her these days, not least because most of the time, I was half-conscious and asleep. Sometimes, while I was half-awake, I could vaguely sense some presence. Unlike Master’s, it was a presence unique to a young child, lingering around for a while. Sometimes, I could even feel a soft chill on my forehead, stopping for a moment before disappearing again. 

Unless these were delusions, otherwise, there was no other possibility but the child. 

If it really was her, why did she always come when I was asleep? Was it deliberate or pure coincidence? This made me wonder, but I couldn’t think of anything else. 

The doubt was there all the time, though it bothered me to think about it, it didn’t affect anything. 

Sickness comes like a landslide but goes away slowly like spinning silk. 

Days like this went on a few more days. My cold was getting better with each passing day. Finally, I no longer had to lie in bed all day feeling dizzy and feeble, and my body had also regained some strength, so I wanted to get down and walk around. Master tried to stop me, but saw that I insisted, she just left it at that and warned me it was okay to do light activities like sunbathing in front of the cave, but I wasn’t allowed to practice qigong and go too far.

I promised with a smile. I didn’t have the strength to go far anyway. After lying down for six to seven days, my body felt incredibly sore, and my joints were as stiff as if they were rusted. Enduring all the discomfort, I swung my arms and legs on a flat ground not far outside the cave to get my blood flowing and did some radio exercise moves. Then, I picked a flat boulder and sat down against it, cozily basking in the sun, just as Master told me. 

It had been a long time since I had taken such a relaxing break in the sun, so long that I couldn’t remember when the last time was, maybe years ago, or perhaps in my previous life.

The sun was warm. When I closed my eyes, the world became pale red. 

Nothing was on my mind. I was fully immersed in this pale red’s warmth. For a brief moment, I almost forgot about everything. It wasn’t until footsteps sounded in the quiet world that I came back to my senses.  

The sound of the footsteps was faint. If the world I was immersed in hadn’t been so quiet, I probably wouldn’t have noticed them at all. There would only be two possibilities for such soft footsteps- either the person had trained in qinggong and was excellent at it, or the person himself wasn’t heavy and was as light as a child. 

Or it was simply both. 

I turned my head and narrowed my eyes, watching a little figure getting closer. Because she was approaching against the light, I couldn’t see anything at first. I could only see a rim of waving sunlight tracing around the outline of the figure and haloing as if the haloed ink was soaking through the paper in dots. 

Only when she got a little closer that I could see her. She was still an innocent, lovely child. For a second, her features seemed to grow a little more delicate than I remembered. She wasn’t exactly the same little person I brought home on that winter night. 

Realizing this, I felt a sense of loss somehow. 

She came to my side. Seeing that I was still looking straight at her, she was neither angry nor annoyed, but instead, she smiled a little and said proudly: “You really are at a place like this. I found you as soon as I started looking.” After saying that, she actually sat down beside me, leaning against the boulder as I did. 

This was another unexpected move from her. But this time, as if I had gotten used to it, it didn’t cause much astonishment. As I watched her sitting down, I reached out my hand, casually brushed the dust off her shirt for her, and asked: “You were looking for me?”

She nodded frankly and said: “I went into the cave, and Master said that you were out in the sun, so I thought this would be the best place to catch some sun, and here you are.” After that, she nodded again with great satisfaction. 

Resuming from where it left off, I was supposed to say something like these at this point: “What do you want from me?” or “What can I do for you?” But in the end, when the words were already on the tip of my tongue, they somehow took a turn, turning right into: “Haven’t you been avoiding me all this time? Then why are you looking for me now?”

The moment the words slipped out of my mouth, I wanted to bite my tongue. Being bitter with a child? How mature. 

Luckily, I didn’t think she noticed the bitter undertone in my voice, so it didn’t bother her to hear it. She just raised her eyebrows and answered earnestly: “No, I’m not avoiding you. I was just thinking about things, and now that I’d thought it out, so I came to you.”

“Oh?” This was so rare. Of course, she was thinking about stuff, which was nothing in itself, but it was a little unusual that she would say it this way: “What have you been thinking about then, Lian’er? Care to tell me?”

“Nothing.” The child looked at me with her cheeks resting on her hands, and her eyes were frank: “I was just thinking about what you said earlier, that thing called love.”

With that one sentence, my mind was suddenly pulled back to that cold rain. 

That time, standing under the tree, she said, “I understand what’s ‘like,’ but…what’s ‘love’?” Her face was full of confusion when she said that. 

So I did explain it to her after that, or should I say, tried to explain to her, what love was, although I felt that the explanation was actually quite far-fetched at the time.

I told her that if you like something, it won’t stop you from using it, or eating it, maybe because you like to use it or eat it that you were fond of it; but if you love something, you will be reluctant to let it go and won’t want it to suffer the slightest damage—even if the damage is supposed to be done, and may even do you some good—for no reason and for nothing. Regardless of things or people, if you can’t let it go and steel your heart against it no matter what, then that is love. 

In fact, I understood deep down that it was superficial to explain the word ‘love’ in this way, and it might even be a fallacious explanation too. What is love? Countless people around the world have explained it. Any one of those explanations would be more elegant and beautiful than this. But have those flowery words really explained it all?

I just wanted to guide the naive Lian’er to try to grasp that word for the first time with the simplest of words. As for the deeper meaning behind that word, no one could teach it to her but herself. 

But even then, it never occurred to me that she would be so dedicated to figuring it out. Besides that, there was another puzzling aspect to it. 

“So… now… Lian’er, have you figured out anything yet? Emm, and… ” After hesitating for a bit, I thought about it and felt that there should be nothing wrong with it, so I asked directly: “And why do you have to avoid me when thinking about this?”

I was puzzled, so I looked at her, yet she looked away. She was still sitting there with her hands on her cheeks, but her eyes gazing into the distance were a little unfocused.

“You’re the one who said ‘if I can’t let it go and steel my heart against it, then that’s love’.” There was a rare hesitation when the child said that, as if she wasn’t quite sure how to structure her words: “I’ve never, ever felt that before, even with the wolf pack. We really are a family, and I really like them, but feelings like unable to see them suffer and whatnot, not at all… it’s all supposed to happen, injury or death. Of course, I’m not saying that injury or death is a good thing…it’s just…it’s just… ” She began to become fretful and bit her lips hard as she spoke: “It’s all supposed to happen. It’s a natural thing!”

I quickly patted her hand and let her know seriously, meanwhile pleasantly: “It’s okay, I understand what you mean. I really understand.”

She looked at me with her head tilted and was silent for a moment. Then she shook me off and took a few slow steps before she stood still with her back to me and spoke: “But then… then you got sick, and you said you might die. When you said that, I felt really uncomfortable, in a way I hadn’t felt before, not even when Master killed the big wolf… ”

At this point, she turned back, looking over with eyes as clear as water, yet clearly reflecting the sunlight: “So, I thought about it for a long time and thought this is probably what you call ‘love,’ right? What’d you say? Yes or no?”

I just looked back at her quietly, not answering right away. After a moment, I smiled softly and said: “What I say doesn’t matter. Yes or no, that feeling is yours, Lian’er, so you have to ask yourself.”

I smiled, and she smiled with me. For some reason, she was beaming as if she brightened up in an instant. 

“I think, yeah.” She came back and bent over like she was trying to get a good look at me. It was close, very close, and then she pointed to her heart and said: “I don’t want you to die, whether from disease or snakebite. When you asked me that time, I felt sore here, upset and angry. I guess that’s what it’s like unable to let someone go and see her suffer. If that’s the case, then I love you.” After thinking about it, she added: “If it’s Master, I’ll also feel sore and uncomfortable, then I love Master too.”

So she seemed to come to a definite conclusion. That little face looked so joyful and satisfied. She smiled on her own for a while, and then as if remembering something, she looked me in the eyes again and said: “In that case, don’t ask me about death. I don’t want you to die, so I’ll protect you from death from now on.” 

When she said so, she reached out her hand and patted me on the shoulder, mimicking what Master usually did, as if that was a promise. 

I didn’t duck, letting her slap at my aching joints. When she was done, I reached out and ruffled her hair as well, expecting her to dodge out of the way arrogantly like before, but she didn’t. 

So as I ruffled her hair, smiling, I said to her word for word: “Well, in exchange for that, I’ll protect Lian’er from now on too. Although I’m not as good as you at martial arts, I’ll do whatever I can to protect Lian’er you. Deal.”

“Deal.” She nodded. Only then she dodged my hand, probably thinking everything was good once we had talked it out. Lastly, she patted me twice before turning about and running far away like a wind. 

I didn’t want to move, simply leaned there, and watched the little figure running away from a distance until she was out of my sight. Then I turned back, closed my eyes, and went back to basking in the sun.

This afternoon, the breeze was gentle, and the sun was surprisingly warm, warm enough to enter my heart.

Translator’s note:
In this chapter, I’ve changed the translation of the term “有情yòuqíng” to “to love” which I translated it to “to have feelings for” in chapter 13 as I find “to love” to be a better term for it given the context of this chapter. I’ll stick to this term in the future. Sorry for making such a mistake. Hope you enjoyed this novel so far.

And, thank you very much to those who support me on Kofi and everyone who keeps reading despite my slow update. Your support means a lot to me o(^▽^)o

有情yòuqíng- which can mean “to have feelings/affection for” or “to love”

The Witch Nichang– Chapter 17

On Her Back

How does it feel to trust your life to someone else? 

I couldn’t quite describe it, just knew that it felt terrible, really terrible.

It was for this feeling that I closed my eyes, but closing my eyes felt much worse. In the darkness where all I could feel was my own heartbeat, temperature, and the strange presence on my arm. 

Perhaps sensing something was off, it seemed a little agitated and was crawling around. The sensation of its ventral scales rubbing and squirming against my arm felt clear through the clothes.

Being able to control my body with my mind didn’t mean that I was physically comfortable with this feeling. My heart clenched, and I wanted to hurry her but didn’t dare to do so. Since I chose to hand over the control, all that was left to do was to wait. Rushing her served no purpose other than interfering with her judgment, and in most cases, it would only make things worse.

Fortunately, I could still sense her presence, which was somewhat reassuring.

The sense for that presence was actually quite subtle, more like a hazy intuition. It was so quiet around me that I couldn’t even hear her breathing, but somehow, I knew she was there. I could even picture her looking ready to attack like a wolf.

Suddenly, a gust of breeze blew against my face. It was so soft that it just left a slight chill on my skin.

But that wasn’t a breeze! For then there was a tight squeeze on my right arm, and it was getting tighter. The living vine that was wrapping around my arm began to coil up and constrict, causing significant pain to my arm. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I opened my eyes with a grunt and saw the branch in Lian’er’s hand was now stabbing straight into the snake’s mouth!

It was a precise strike, at least to me it was unbelievable, but it was also the most effective way and avoided the risk of snakebite entirely. The only downside, if I must say so, was the pressure it brought to my arm during its death-struggle.

The child knew it too, so she was now squatting, one hand holding the branch and continuing to clamp it down, the other reaching out to grab the lifted part of the snake’s body, tugging it left and right, trying to peel it off my arm. However, the snake’s constriction strength was apparently stronger than she could have imagined. Seeing the blood flow get obstructed and the arm gradually starting to turn blackish purple, she couldn’t wrap her head around the situation and got a little nervous, nipping her lip and glancing at me in a hustle, as if she was…worried. 

I lifted my free hand, and without adding fuel to the fire, stroked her back and told her it was nothing serious, that it was all right.

After bustling about for a while, that thing finally lost its strength and was yanked off by Lian’er. She clutched it in her hand, smacking it several times, and then it completely slackened into a dead, motionless thing. As if it wasn’t enough to vent her anger, she threw a few more glares at it before raising her hand and casting it far away. It disappeared into the night without a flop.

This childish act set my mind at rest, at the same time, it was somewhat funny. 

But I didn’t dare to laugh because the person in front of me had a straight face on. Seeing me press my lips together and smile, she glared over at me, but said nothing, just stepped to the side in silence, picked up the herbs on the ground she gathered earlier, and swished them in front of my face, the meaning of which went without saying. 

Seeing her serious face, I surely wouldn’t be so dumb to mess with her. I just looked over the herb she handed me, and at last, after a moment of hesitation, I decided to answer honestly: “It’s similar enough, but…too bad, it’s not the one.”

I thought I might piss the child off, but it turned out not at all. 

“Oh.” She sounded level-headed and showed no obvious expression, just tossed the wrongly picked plant aside, but she reached over abruptly in the next instant and hoicked me from the ground! It all happened so fast and unprepared that all I felt was my body getting lighter, and when I came back to my senses, I was already on her back again. 

“Lian’er?” It was out of nowhere, so I was baffled: “What’re you doing?”

She sneered and replied: “I’m carrying you.” After that, she said no more, going about stepping straight into the bushes with her body slightly leaning forward, her left hand supporting me, and her right hand sweeping the bushes. It looked like she intended to keep on searching for the herb this way. 

I knew it would be bad the moment I saw the sneer, but I never expected her to do that. I froze for a moment, then I thought about it again before opening my mouth again with deliberation: “Lian’er… what’re you doing?” Since I knew she was mad, I got serious: “What happened just now was just an accident. I was being careless and slipped up. Now that it’s settled, you really don’t have to—”

Before I could finish, a cold snort interrupted me. She didn’t answer me right away, not even turning her head, just shoving the handful of herbs she just picked in my face and asked: “How about this?”

“Um… no” With one look, I rejected it at once and tried to continue with my explanation earlier. But as soon as my words entered her ears, she just chucked it away. Before I could say another word, she shoved a handful of newly picked herbs in my face again: “What about this?”

I felt resigned. At this point, if I still didn’t get her intention, then I had lived my life in vain. 

So this time, without confirming or rejecting it, I just took the herb she handed over and looked at it in my hand, ignoring her question, and continued what I wanted to say: “It’s too exhausting for you, Lian’er. How can I not worry about you? Besides, it wouldn’t be that coincidental. There won’t be—” 

“You’re such a nag!” With me on her back, she erupted eventually and yelled over her shoulder in exasperation: “Who cares if you’re dead or alive! I just feel like it’s much more convenient like this! Save me a trip to the tree to ask you. It’s too much trouble!”

After yelling, without waiting for me to answer, she straightened up and reached her hand over her shoulder, wanting to grab the herb she just handed to me: “If not, throw it away! What does it mean, holding in your hand and not talking?”

Although she was always arrogant and tetchy with me, she had only two genuine outbursts so far. Maybe because she cared about my condition, compared to the punching and kicking at the creek last time, it was obvious she let me off this time. I knew it but didn’t want to argue, so I quickly reached out my hand and put it around her shoulders to avoid falling off while bumping along, and my other hand went to protect the herb in a hurry: “Easy, easy, you got it right this time. It’s a herb. Do you want to throw it away?”

She started and stopped moving. For a moment, she seemed to forget she was mad and glanced at me with her eyes squinted, looking askance: “Really?” 

I nodded in haste, smiling innocently at her. I didn’t lie. It was such a coincidence that the ones she looked for in all seriousness were always similar but weren’t the right one, instead, the one she grabbed in a fit of pique was right on target. 

She glanced at me a couple more times and probably felt I didn’t coax her, so she took the herb in her hand, scanned it, and sniffed it. Her brows flattened out, and she whispered to herself with her head slanted: “Ah, so this is what it looks like. It’s pretty common. Took me an entire day to look for it.”

She was still a child, after all. Her temper came and went. I tidied the strands of loose hair at her temple and smiled: “Now you know what this herb looks like. Just go look for it with this as a reference, so can you put me down now?” After that, I moved a little, trying to get down. 

Who knew she would notice it, and then her back tensed. Instead of cooperating, her arm that was supporting me tightened a bit more.

“What now?” I frowned and asked her, pretending to not understand. 

In fact, I knew the reason why she wouldn’t put me down, and the anger and outburst she just had were nothing more than the lingering fear of the previous mishap. I thought she would have been calm and collected, or at least not so concerned. But from the look of it, it seemed I was wrong again. 

As expected, she tensed up and said with her head held high as she kept me from getting down: “What are you coming down for? I’ve seen a bunch of herbs like that earlier. I will pick them all at once and we can go home. If I put you down now, I’ll have to carry you again later. It’s better to save the trouble.” She said it as if she was in the right. 

I sighed in my heart. Without an excuse, I thought she would give in even if she was reluctant to. But now, it seemed like the child was getting better at using her language skills. Could it be because we were talking more these days?

As for her, as always, she didn’t care about my opinion and continued to act on her own when she was done talking. 

With a reference in her hand, the target was much clearer. This time, she didn’t have to rummage through the bushes at random and went straight for the target instead. Weeds and whatnot weren’t an obstacle for her at all. In the waist-tall scrubs, it would take me some effort to search even in the morning. But she had swept through most of the area in no time.

However, herbs were, after all, rare and weren’t as easily obtained as she made it sound before. While the upward sloping terrain had made it easy to search without hunching, it could still be tiring after a while. 

I was so close to her, watching the sweat slowly seeping out of her forehead, I didn’t know what to say to her. After several attempts to speak, in the end, I could only sigh and raised the hand that was around her neck, dabbing the beads of sweat away for her.

Gradually calming down like this, my head started to get dizzy again. The night wind offered me temporary comfort, but in fact, did more harm than good to my condition. 

“You really surprised me this time, Lian’er… ” Maybe it was the increased dizziness. Lying on her shoulders and closing my eyes, I actually started mumbling out of nowhere after a while. 

“Hey, what will you do if I die of a disease by chance, or get killed by that snake earlier? Would you bury me as I taught you? Or would you rather pass me to those mates of yours for them to feed on?”

The thing with that little wolf just happened yesterday… um… or was it the day before? The time was a little blurred by my dizziness, but the images were still vivid in my mind, as were the feelings I had then. I didn’t think the place I held in her heart would be much higher than the pup.

The child’s definition of affinity was less intricate than that of the others. She would draw a circle, and everyone outside the circle was irrelevant, might even be a potential enemy, whereas everyone inside the circle was one of her own. Inside that circle, except for Master was stronger than her, the rest were weaker than her. For those who were weaker than her, she always wanted to conquer and manage them, and correspondingly, she would also offer protection. 

I was also included in this circle. My position might be slightly higher, but that was all. 

My head hurt a little more at the thought of what would have happened to the little wolf if I hadn’t insisted. A normal person wouldn’t want to suffer that treatment even after death. The cold really befuddled my mind, and I actually started to dwell on it, demanding an answer from her. 

Being pumped by me like this, she could no longer stand it and jerked her back up.

“I’m sick of this! I won’t let you die!” The reply was loud and clear, and her tone was one of furious exasperation: “I won’t let you die! Then you won’t die! Asking those things about death for what? So annoying! Shut up!”

I shut up when she said shut up.

Getting yelled at and shocked like this, a thin layer of sweat broke out on my back. It did nothing but snapped me into consciousness. Then I realized what kind of childishness I had just displayed. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to bury my head in the sand and forgot that I was being scolded by a child and just did as she said, hoping that I could get hold of myself, and wouldn’t say something stupid that could shame me to death.

I kept my mouth shut, and she stopped talking. Like this, we gathered enough herbs in a hurry and went back. The journey home was silent. 

When we’re back at Yellow Dragon cave, it was already late at night. Master had not yet returned. The herbs had to be pounded and boiled, but I was feeling dizzy already, so I had to adopt the previous method again—a person says, the other does. 

Until the end, guarding the blazing fire and watching the gurgling, burbling concoction grew darker and murkier, I couldn’t stay up anymore. My eyelids drooped and my head sagged. Half-asleep, I felt someone was getting closer, calling me a few times while shaking me, sounding worried. I subconsciously curled my lips up, reached out in a daze and patted her to show her I was fine and fell back to sleep again. 

I remembered nothing after that, except that I slept surprisingly sound in the warmth. Such a good sleep lasted until the child woke me up to take my medicine, and there wasn’t even a nightmare between. 

When I woke up, I thought, maybe something was different from now on.